


Boundaries

by Klomonx



Series: Chuu/Kureo Romance Collection [2]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:15:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25393729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Klomonx/pseuds/Klomonx
Summary: Chuu and Kureo discuss boundaries and how weird their relationship is. They kiss a lot and Kureo calls for a time out. Nothing sexual happens but it's proposed.
Relationships: Chuu Hachikawa/Kureo Mado, Mado Kasuka/Mado Kureo
Series: Chuu/Kureo Romance Collection [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1837018
Kudos: 4





	Boundaries

The kiss had him mesmerized, he had forgotten how he felt when his partner kissed him. He had forgotten the butterflies he felt, even now, even as a senior investigator. He trembled a little, something he hadn’t done since the first time he kissed Kasuka. Since the first time he embraced her.  
It wasn’t Kasuka, it would never be Kasuka again. Instead of giving in to the robin egg blue eyes, instead of losing himself in the stoic eyes that only dared to tear up around him, he was swaying with the stoic statuesque man. He was over a foot taller than him, unlike Kasuka who stood just a few inches taller. His grey eyes were hurt, wounded prematurely. Unlike Kasuka’s eyes that were icy and cold, but melted when they set themselves on him, Chuu’s eyes were frozen solid. They did not warm, they did not become excited, Chuu’s wounds affected his emotional output, he showed it less than Kasuka ever had. That wasn’t to say he didn’t show emotion, but their scars were so deep and their trauma so defined that it was difficult to ever do anything that revealed true emotion.  
A teary eye, a twitch, an overzealous anger could spell the end for them against a Ghoul. So they hid it, they swallowed it from the world. They both knew the pain the other felt, the nightmares, the horrible images they’d see every time they beheld a Ghoul. The want, the need to kill every Ghoul in their midst was so devastating, anger was the only emotion they could freely feel. It masked their fear, the fear that if they reacted any other way, it’d be torn from them. They would take their fate in their hands, they weilded their agency with their weapons, they would tear the Ghouls apart. They would mock the Ghouls’ sickening attempts at family – how could they ever feel what they felt? How could they ever understand?  
“Kureo.”  
The voice broke the kiss and Kureo looked up, seeing the half closed eyelids of the man, “are you alright?”  
“Fine,” Kureo laughed, “just. It’s been awhile.”  
“You haven’t dated since Kasuka?”  
Kureo shook his head, “it hurt too much. To go through pouring my heart out again, I don’t think I could handle it. But I missed this.”  
The two stood in an embrace, the night shielding them from gawkers.  
“I missed the way my heart fluttered when we kissed.”  
“Such a romantic.”  
Kureo blushed, “you don’t feel it?”  
“I was never much of a romantic man, I was far more physical.”  
Kureo snuggled against him, “that’s not true, you kissed me first.”  
Chuu faltered, “nearly made you vomit on your doorstep.”  
“I’ve grown to like it,” Kureo said, though not confidently, “rather I associate it with better things.” His mind added a sometimes, as not every kiss was as pleasant. Not every kiss made his heart race; sometimes on the wrong day, the wrong mood, the wrong time, the kiss was painful, killing him slowly inside. It wasn’t Chuu’s fault he didn’t have lips, not Chuu’s fault at all. But the smell and taste of human blood in your throat stung, and it was difficult to shake the connection.  
Chuu hummed quietly, barely audible. He was content and happy with Kureo against him, even if his expression never showed it.  
They kissed again, though this time Chuu snaked his tongue into Kureo’s mouth and down his throat. He gasped and pushed Chuu away, shaking. He was flustered, the butterflies metamorphosed into wasps.  
“P-please, don’t do that without warning me.” Kureo tried to explain, “I can’t..we can’t..”  
“Why not?” Chuu was bemused though concerned at the state of his companion. He reacted so violently to interactions he considered normal with a romantic partner.  
“I can’t invite you upstairs.” Kureo said, embarrassed, “I can’t, not with Akira there. Not with Kasuka...” he stumbled, as if this was an affair. Kasuka wasn’t alive, it no longer mattered if he had sex with someone else. It no longer mattered if he kissed someone else passionately. The butterflies were no longer for her and her alone.  
“Kasuka isn’t around, Kureo. I won’t ever replace her, but you’re so sweet. I could make you happy.”  
Kureo faltered, blushing, “I can’t, not in our bedroom. Akira could come in, she still has nightmares.”  
“Are you embarrassed by me?”  
“No!” Kureo cried, “Chuu I...” he couldn’t say he loved him, not the way he said it to Kasuka. They had only been together a few months. “I can’t have you upstairs, it hurts too much. Her picture is still on the nightstand. I don’t want to upset Akira, we still miss her.”  
If Chuu was angry or disappointed, he backed off, realized his mistake.  
“We still have our boundaries,” Chuu sighed, “I went too fast.”  
“I-I liked it,” Kureo admitted, “we’re lonely, we’re desperate. Anything we do will be intense, we have a lot of baggage. Whatever we do will be hard and fast, others won’t understand. And that’s okay, I’m used to not being understood. But I can’t here, not yet. I’m afraid of forgetting her, Chuu. I don’t want to forget her.”  
“You won’t.”  
“I thought I did the second you kissed me like that.”  
“I’m not Kasuka.”  
“Do you think she was gentle?” Kureo said quietly, “do you think she didn’t…?” He couldn’t finish it, as if he was dragging her image through the mud.  
“Our love will be different than the love you and Kasuka had, we are corrupted, you two were pure. Or as pure as Investigators could be. I won’t replace her, but there’s a void in your heart, isn’t there? There’s a gaping hole in mine. It bleeds.”  
Kureo nodded, he understood.  
“It’s getting late. One more kiss goodnight, I’ll behave. Promise.”  
They kissed sweetly and parted, Kureo left to ascend to his apartment. Alone.


End file.
